Homesick

I try to maintain a positive attitude on Elijah's website. I try to keep things fairly light hearted and not whine.
I need to whine.  This is my blog and I can do that, right?
Here goes. 
I miss my husband.  I miss sleeping next to him every night and waking up with him in the morning.  I miss the fact that he kisses me every morning before he goes to work and every night before we go to bed.  I miss him walking up behind me and wrapping his arms around me.  I miss the smell of him.  I miss the calm that he brings to me and my high strung tendencies.  He is my other half and I feel a bit lost without him by my side.
I miss my daughter.  I am blessed to have a very affectionate girl.  I miss her hugs every day.  I miss our little jokes about books or movies that only we understand.  I miss seeing her beautiful smile and hearing her come down the stairs in the morning.  I miss her climbing in to bed with me in the mornings so we can talk.  She's such a beautiful soul and I ache for her. 
I miss my house.  I know some people would say that it's just a rent house - but I love it, truly.  I feel more "at home" there than I ever have in any house we've lived in.  It suits us.  It's my safe haven. 
I miss privacy.  Oh, how I miss privacy.  Living communally is NOT easy.  We eat in a common dining room with all of the other families.  I shower in a shared bath (the shower room locks).  Elijah and I are in the same room 24/7.  When his friends call, I try to let him have some time to himself and I go do laundry or read downstairs.  I am thankful that we have this wonderful place to live while we are here and we are comfortable here.  We always have been.  I just miss home. 
I miss my friends.  I feel like I haven't talked to them much since I've been here, and didn't see them hardly at all the 10 days that I was at home.  I have great friends and am so thankful for them. 
I miss the convenience of having a car.  Granted, I know it's a luxury to have a car - but it's a convenience I've grown accustomed to and am missing it. 
I miss the rest of our family.  Even though we don't see each other as often as we should, it's nice to know that they are just up the road a bit if we need them or have something funny to share. 
So there you have it.  My big whine.  I am homesick.  I know I am where I need to be and we really are fine.  I'm not crying all the time like I thought I would.  I've settled in, I guess.  We will be here as long as we need to be for Elijah.  It's the quest to get him well.  I know I have a purpose and that's to take care of this boy who I love more than words could ever accurately describe.  I'm glad I'm here with him.  He makes me laugh constantly.  Even though he's not as generous with his hugs as his sister, I still manage to squeeze at least one out of him every day.  I treasure every day with him and while I miss home so very much - I am thankful to be his mom and help him walk this portion of this journey. 

Day 2

I went to Target last night and bought a little notebook to carry with me. It's my food and weight journal. My friend Susan carries a little notebook with her so I thought I would try it. Writing down everything you eat really puts things in to perspective - well, it puts what you put in your mouth in perspective. I have eaten really well the past two days. Fiber One bars are really really good and filling!!! I had one of those and some yogurt for breakfast. Those little bad boys have 9 grams of fiber in them!!
Our AC unit for upstairs is officially dead. We had someone come out today who said it has two things wrong with it and it can not be repaired. It needs to be replaced. We had it serviced last year and we were told it was on it's last legs then and probably wouldn't make it through last summer. We borrowed a window unit that we will put in one of the back bedrooms upstairs. We hope it will cool two of the bedrooms for now. In the mean time, the downstairs is nice and cool because we replaced that unit right after we bought the house. Maybe in the Fall we will be able to replace the smaller unit for upstairs. My grandmother said she would help with the expense of it.
I think I am going to weigh myself every day. I know some people say you shouldn't do that, but I want to be able to write my weight down in my notebook every day. I am realizing how much I eat without thinking about it.. eating for no reason. Elijah had some fries yesterday and I almost had one in my mouth when I realized what I was doing!! Jeesh! I wasn't even hungry! Pizza sounded really good for dinner tonight, so we went. I filled up on a bunch of salad with vinegar instead of dressing and then had two small pieces of thin crust pizza with canadian bacon. It was more than plenty. I was under for my daily points allowance under the WW program.
today was a good day. Eli's scan was good. Britt and the kids are back. I am hoping for a good nights sleep and great news from Eli's scans tomorrow. Goals for tomorrow: color with Elijah, stay on my eating program, marked improvement on eli's scans, to cook a good dinner, and to get the window unit in so we can sleep in our own beds tomorrow night!