I am at "The Ronald" with Elijah. We flew in to Philly yesterday morning. We don't normally know until the day we arrive if we will have a room here or not. It's always full so it just depends on whether someone checks out and goes home and how far down we are on the waiting list.
Normally when we are here Elijah doesn't want to stay in the room at all. He wants to go to the teen room and play video games or pool or he wants to look at the movies in the office or do crafts. This time he isn't much wanting to play. He went to bed at 8 last night and slept for 12 hours. Tonight he just wanted to watch a movie and go to bed. He's hurting from his procedure and seems to have a headache from anesthesia. I'm praying he feels better tomorrow.
At times I feel sorry for myself when we are here. Sad because we are away from home and frustrated that he has to go through so much. I feel sorry for myself until we are downstairs in the kitchen and see a tired momma whose just come back from the hospital - and doesn't have her child with her. You can tell her apart from the others. She has on the blue inpatient id band and sits alone staring straight ahead. She eats quietly and slowly. I can't imagine what runs through her mind. I pray for her. I pray for her and I'm thankful that I have Elijah with me. Even when he feels bad, we can still watch movies and talk and laugh. Not a day goes by that I don't feel blessed that he is still with us. I'd come up here every week and not complain about it one bit just to have him with me and well. So.. my goal is to not complain about our situation and what we go through. I am blessed.
The Ronald
Yep. I already took my Ambien..
I'm starting to see a pattern here. Take my ambien, wait for it to start working, and then come up with all of these brilliant thoughts that I simply must put down in my blog. Maybe this is why musicians often do drugs. Funny thing is, I know that what I am about to write really isn't some stroke of poetic or prophetic genius.
I'm shaving my head in just about two months. I seriously need to get some weight off before the big shave or I fear I will look all butch. I just need to learn how to put makeup on for those with no hair and I need to get some very pretty and feminine earrings. Perhaps I should just get some baggy jeans and a couple of wife beaters. I think I still have a pair of Doc Martens. My hair grows super fast, so I'm really not too concerned about me being bald for a terribly long time. I just don't look good with short hair unless I'm thinner. So.. anyone want to volunteer to be my personal trainer for free? How about beauty consultant for the bald and the beautiful?
Okay, I've been interrupted twice and have now forgotten all of the other witty and charming things I wanted to talk about. Darn ambien. I think one of them was an herb garden. Maybe I will blog about that later though.
If you are one of the three people who read my blog, will you share something with your friends? www.46mommas.com and www.gofundme.com/talley-travel-fund
We are trying to raise funds for 46 Mommas and are trying to get help to get us to Washington DC for the big shave. We appreciate any bit of help.
I guess I need to go to bed.
Just The List
Okay.. I have some things on my list that are bugging me - so I'm going to put them down on here. This is not my bucket list - which is full of wonderful things I would love to accomplish at some point. This is just crap that stresses me out that I wish I could fix.
1. For Elijah to be well.
2. For my car to be fixed.(needs a hub cap, tires, and to get the fender fixed - it's falling off)
3. For Britt's car to be fixed.
4. To get mine and Britt's dental work done.
5. To own the house that we live in (or at least get another year on the lease).
6. To have all of our bills caught up.
7. To have my whole house clean and know where everything is. (yeah, crack smoking crazy.. I know)
8. To be able to go to the foot doctor and have my toe looked at.
9. To get the cyst removed from my wrist
10. To be able to get Hannah what she needs for her dorm room and to start school
11. To be able to get Elijah new clothes and shoes for school.
This is what I need to alleviate my stress. These are a few of the things in my life that drive me nuts. Number 1 being Elijah's health. I guess I should start looking at which ones I can do anything about and not worry about the rest. That's kind of hard to do when I have to pop the fender back on my car every time I drive it. Elijah is embarrassed of it.. can't say that I blame him. I do know that it's much better than what my mother embarrassed me with when I was his age. Remember Gremlins? Yeah.. mom had one.. When she didn't have that she borrowed my aunt's Pinto.
I am tired and my ambien has kicked in.. so I know I'm rambling. If I start talking about alien abductions, just stop reading. It doesn't mean I've been abducted, just means that I am no longer coherent. like I ever really am!
Work?
I am working a lot over the next week. I actually don't have a day off until Thursday which means I will have worked 6 days straight. Granted, a few of my shifts have only been 4 hours, but it's work just the same. I am going to like my next paycheck, I think. I think it will really help out with some existing bills and upcoming expenses.
I can't believe school starts in a little more than a month. It seems like they just got out. It will be Elijah's last year at his school. We have loved having him at Jefferson. I'm not certain what we will do for middle school. We are not too keen on sending him to public school even though that's where he wants to go. The public schools here are just too big once you get to middle school. I'm just not comfortable with him being in a large school environment with big classes,crowded hallways and bullies. We can't really afford private school and I am too disorganized to home school. I'm sure that a workable solution will present itself during the next school year.
Dieting sucks. Just so I am clear on that one thing. I did really well and lost quite a bit of weight on CLEAN, but can't get my head into it to do it again. I am thinking I'm going to have to do something middle of the road and just use myfitnesspal or count WW points. I don't want to be fat, but I can't take feeling deprived. It's causing me to binge, which is terrible.
Man, I'm whiny! ha! Maybe I need to go back to the beach. I don't think I whined as much at the beach!