Today I was elected president of the Candlelighters of Central Arkansas. Candlelighters is a group that provides assistance to Families who are dealing with pediatric cancer. It's a wonderful organization that I have been honored to be part of for the past few years and am now Blessed to be the president. I have a lot of good ideas an am hoping that I can do what I need to in order to carry them out. I am going to have to be creative in handling a few of the personalities that are in office though.. I think that's a good way to put it.. creative.
First on my agend is to find a chairperson for Gallery of Hope and get that committee organized. yipes.
anyone want to volunteer?
Madame President
Not Gonna Do It
I have made a decision. I am not going to do something that I don't think would be in my best interest in the long run - just to prove a point. I know this makes no sense - it does to me and I guess at this point, that's all that matters, right? I am not going to make my life more dificult just so I can show others that I was right. How does that help me? It doesn't. Is proving that I am right always what is best? I don't think so. I think sometimes doing what's right is better than being right. I am going to do this one my way - because it's better for me and better for the whole situation. Besides, I know I am right anyway.
Next Week
We are going to Philadelphia on Tuesday to begin Elijah's next phase of treatment. I have a few things that I need to accomplish shortly thereafter for my own peace of mind and in effort to make things better for our family. I am going to write a few of them down so I can keep track..
1. See about getting Elijah in school at Jefferson.
2. Compose an email and some resources for the Candlelighters Cookbook.
3. Work on MIBG presentation for the apon group.
4. Get ahead on school work.
5. Go to WW with Carrie on Saturday
6. Read the book for book club.
7. Find out where my w2 is so we can get our taxes done
8. try to get board meeting for candlelighters set up.
There.. this is just a few things.. I am sure I have more to add.. but wanted to get these down while I was thinking about it.
James Taylor is on tour!!!!
I want to go camping soon.
Just dont get it....
Don't get me wrong.. I like Jimmy Buffett. I really really do. I love a good margarita and can sing most of the words to "Cheeseburger in Paradise". I just don't understand the whole Parrothead thing. I don't understand that whole Deadhead thing either and I do not consider myself a "Fanilow". I did, for a great while, have a Dave Matthews Band sticker on my car.. and love me some DMB. We were even members of the fan club for a while... I also love James Taylor and listen to him as much as I possibly can because his music makes me happy, but have never seen the cultish following for JT a I have for some of the others.. But why are Parrotheads like no other group? Why do they gather in groups of other Buffett fans and travel to far off and distant places for these huge festivals o fun to listen to Buffett music and play in plastic swimming pools? I am jealous of their fun, really. Jealous of their enthusiasm! I have tried long and hard to understand why I am no longer capable of being a huge fan of other things.. I have a friend who is a HUGE American Idol fan.. travels to see idol shows, owns paraphanalia, etc.. There is also a grown woman that I have recently met who is obsessed with all things Twighlight and has seen the movie a million times, read all the books, etc. etc.. I just can't get excited about any one thing like that. I watch Idol. I read the Twighlight books.. I can't think of anything that I love that much that I would want to make it a necessary part of my esistence. Does that make me uncool? I am sure to some Parrothead like people, it would.. I guess I could never be part of their club. I would never get a parrothead tattoo.
I know. I will be a Riverfest Fanatic. What could I call that? I guess just a committee member. The tattoo would be cool.
Bipolar much??
I can't make up my mind what kind of mood to be in today. I think one second I want to be happy for all the strides that Britt and I are making with our financial peace; elated with Elijah's continued healing; happy that both of us have good jobs, cars and a home; pleased with myself for my current weight loss determination and success; and just all around Blessed..
Then there is the dark side of me that wants to just be pissed off. I think I am actually looking for reasons to be angry at SOMETHING today. For example: I think it's ridiculous to repeatedly invite someone to do things with the family only to be turned down over and over again - and then have that person be peeved that they didn't get an invite to ONE THING. I want to be angry about that!!! I really want to be angry about that - but is it worth the negative energy to be angry over something I think is petty? Should I let that suck out my joy and positive attitude of late? No.
I want for people to start owning up to their mistakes and stop blaming other people for what goes wrong and what makes them unhappy. If I don't pay my gas bill, and the gas company shuts off my gas - am I right to be angry with the gas company?? NO! it's not their fault I can't manage my money - it's mine!! (no - the gas company didn't shut off our gas - I am just using that as an example)
My weight gain is not Britt's fault (even though he does bake some really good stuff). My weight gain is not my kids fault - it's not my jobs fault, it's not cancers fault. None of those things controlled the enormous portions of food that I CHOOSE to put in my mouth.. Britt has never tied me down and made me eat chocolate pudding cake. I can't be angry at any of those things because my weight has spiraled out of control. I am the only one that has done this to me - and I am sorry my family has had to suffer the wrath of my unhappiness because of it. At least I can recognize that now. (I can hear the collective sigh and the big "FINALLY!!") I want to be angry about this - but I don't want it to steal my motivation and my pride in how well I have done with my portion control and food choices over the past few weeks. :) I have made huge strides and have reaffirmed that I DO have willpower and I CAN do this.
Okay.. I am stepping off my soapbox now. I just needed to get a few things off my chest. This week is going to be a week of things in the right direction. 10 years of marriage to celebrate - I say that's a big accomplishment in this day and age. I will also be celebrating this week the life of my Mom.. My anniversary is on her birthday. She died 10 years ago and not a day goes by that I don't miss her terribly. She was an amazingly brilliant, beautiful, funny woman. I will be celebrating Elijah's healing.. and anything else I can think of to celebrate!!!