Bipolar much??

I can't make up my mind what kind of mood to be in today. I think one second I want to be happy for all the strides that Britt and I are making with our financial peace; elated with Elijah's continued healing; happy that both of us have good jobs, cars and a home; pleased with myself for my current weight loss determination and success; and just all around Blessed..
Then there is the dark side of me that wants to just be pissed off. I think I am actually looking for reasons to be angry at SOMETHING today. For example: I think it's ridiculous to repeatedly invite someone to do things with the family only to be turned down over and over again - and then have that person be peeved that they didn't get an invite to ONE THING. I want to be angry about that!!! I really want to be angry about that - but is it worth the negative energy to be angry over something I think is petty? Should I let that suck out my joy and positive attitude of late? No.
I want for people to start owning up to their mistakes and stop blaming other people for what goes wrong and what makes them unhappy. If I don't pay my gas bill, and the gas company shuts off my gas - am I right to be angry with the gas company?? NO! it's not their fault I can't manage my money - it's mine!! (no - the gas company didn't shut off our gas - I am just using that as an example)
My weight gain is not Britt's fault (even though he does bake some really good stuff). My weight gain is not my kids fault - it's not my jobs fault, it's not cancers fault. None of those things controlled the enormous portions of food that I CHOOSE to put in my mouth.. Britt has never tied me down and made me eat chocolate pudding cake. I can't be angry at any of those things because my weight has spiraled out of control. I am the only one that has done this to me - and I am sorry my family has had to suffer the wrath of my unhappiness because of it. At least I can recognize that now. (I can hear the collective sigh and the big "FINALLY!!") I want to be angry about this - but I don't want it to steal my motivation and my pride in how well I have done with my portion control and food choices over the past few weeks. :) I have made huge strides and have reaffirmed that I DO have willpower and I CAN do this.
Okay.. I am stepping off my soapbox now. I just needed to get a few things off my chest. This week is going to be a week of things in the right direction. 10 years of marriage to celebrate - I say that's a big accomplishment in this day and age. I will also be celebrating this week the life of my Mom.. My anniversary is on her birthday. She died 10 years ago and not a day goes by that I don't miss her terribly. She was an amazingly brilliant, beautiful, funny woman. I will be celebrating Elijah's healing.. and anything else I can think of to celebrate!!!