This week has not been such a great one for this family. We have had two deaths in the family and both were from cancer. One on Britt's side and one on my side. Britt's Uncle Ray passed away in the morning, and my cousin Michael passed away that night. I hate cancer. It just sucks.
Britt's Uncle was always telling silly stories and always the "life of the party" when we had family gatherings. He is Britt's mom's brother. She has been pretty shaken up about the loss, obviously.
My cousin Mike was diagnosed with a form of lymphoma a few months ago. They hit him pretty hard with treatment and his body just couldn't take it. It's devastating. He has the most beautiful little angel girl that is now without her daddy. My Aunt Murr, who is so dearly loved by all of us here in the Talley house, has lost her only child. My heart just aches for her. She is the most loving and kind person I have ever had the pleasure of knowing and for her to have to suffer a loss like this is just unimaginable to me. I know it's always said that God has a reason for everything.. Cancer and suffering are things that I have such a hard time finding justification in. I don't know that I ever will understand. I still have my Faith and still believe in God's purpose for us all, but sometimes things like this are just hard for me to swallow.
I told Britt yesterday that we needed to start praying for and expecting good things to happen for our family. I started yesterday and today, the Lord answered. We felt God's favor today in a big way. I am praying this is the beginning of many great things to come. This has been a rough year. Things need to look up from here on out.
Enough, Already!
Is it really necessary?
I think I have mentioned before that we have been talking about the benefits of frugality and not spending money on things that are not necessary. With that having been said, I think we are going to really give it a shot. We have elected to not dine out anymore. Dining out sucks up a major portion of our income. Sad thing is, we don't normally dine out because of pleasure, we dine out because of lack of planning. I go through spurts where I am really good about planning out a menu for a week, then doing my shopping accordingly. I have been out of that habit for quite some time now and it's time to get back in to. Britt has been listening to Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace seminar over the past several days. We have both listened to the whole course before and find it inspiring. Now we just need to implement his plan. So... rather than say we aren't going to spend any money on things that are not absolutely needed, we are going to start out with the big one. No more eating out for the Talley Family until further notice! We will be sticking by our menu and working on a budget for the rest of our expenses. I will be sure and keep you posted of our progress.. Our plan is to get caught up and then build up savings so we can take trips with our family and enjoy them knowing that our bills are paid and we aren't blowing money.
A plan... for now anyway.
So after a lot of thought and Britt and I talking it over and weighing all the options, I have decided what to do about my returning to school. I am going to go to a local community college in the Fall and knock out the rest of my pre-requisites. I only lack 6 classes to have all of those taken care of so I will get those done in two semesters at the community college at a much lower cost than the same classes at UALR. I will apply to nursing school in the Spring of next year. That is my plan for TODAY anyway.. I have mulled this over, stressed about it, prayed about it, gotten angry about it.. and now I have decided to be at peace about it. :) Most of the classes I took at UCA when I first went to college were for an English or Business degree and do me very little good towards a degree in nursing. World History I and II are of no use.. Neither is German. Oh well. Now most of what I have to take are science classes so the two semesters at the community college will be rough ones. I will have to take Chemistry and Anatomy and Physiology in the same semester.. Yuck. I do think I am a much better learner than I was the first go round in college though. My last semester at UALR I did really well.. I am hoping to repeat that performance and maintain a good GPA at the community college.
I have been thinking about all the things I want to be sure Elijah has the opportunity to do. Silly little things like ride in a convertable or ride on a motorcycle. He wants to see Mt. Rushmore too so a road trip may be in order! ha ha. It's crazy the way the mind of a cancer mom works - or at least mine anyway. I just spent the last couple of years worrying about what could happen to him and it seems as though we have forgotten to live and enjoy life. I want to start doing that. I want Elijah to experience everything he can. It's sad for me to say "just in case" because I really don't want to think that way.. But I would rather we let him LIVE and really enjoy life, than to regret later on that we spent too much time waiting for his life to end. That would truly be the tragedy, in my opinion.. I wish I had this foresight with the other kids. I thought about it yesterday. A girl at work is getting ready to have a baby. She was being told about how her baby is going to want to be held all the time because she holds her tummy all the time. She just smiled and said "That's okay!". It nearly made me cry. I told her to rock that baby, love that baby, and hold her as much as she could. Cherish every single minute. It's kind of cheesy to quote the song "live like you were dying", but I think it's true. I am tired of waiting for the stars to align, the budget to work out, and the timing to be right. I want to live, enjoy life, and have Elijah experience everything he wants to experience - in his long healthy life. :)
Much Better, Thank You.
I can't begin to write how much better I finally feel. I am coughing very little. My eye is perfectly fine now. Other than being tired, I can honestly say that I don't have any aches or pains at this moment! Yay!!! I am at work and shouldn't be blogging, but it's quite slow and I have already cleaned everything up here that I can clean.
Last night I did a little "Dawn Care". I did a mud mask and I filed and painted my fingernails. My little stubby nails are all pink now. :) it's not much, but its enough to make me feel a little better about myself.
I am going to make my best effort to start journaling my food starting today. My eating is completely out of control. So.. Journaling starting now. Britt worked really hard and made me a little journal sheet to make things easier for me. I just need to use them.
I guess I should go back to work and do something useful. Either that or look up some menu ideas for supper for next week.
Peace
Just Call Me Peggy Ann McKay
One of my favorite poems by Shel Silverstein is called Sick.
Sick
by Shel Silverstein
"I cannot go to school today,"
Said little Peggy Ann McKay.
"I have the measles and the mumps,
A gash, a rash and purple bumps.
My mouth is wet, my throat is dry,
I'm going blind in my right eye.
My tonsils are as big as rocks,
I've counted sixteen chicken pox
And there's one more--that's seventeen,
And don't you think my face looks green?
My leg is cut--my eyes are blue--
It might be instamatic flu.
I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke,
I'm sure that my left leg is broke--
My hip hurts when I move my chin,
My belly button's caving in,
My back is wrenched, my ankle's sprained,
My 'pendix pains each time it rains.
My nose is cold, my toes are numb.
I have a sliver in my thumb.
My neck is stiff, my voice is weak,
I hardly whisper when I speak.
My tongue is filling up my mouth,
I think my hair is falling out.
My elbow's bent, my spine ain't straight,
My temperature is one-o-eight.
My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear,
There is a hole inside my ear.
I have a hangnail, and my heart is--what?
What's that? What's that you say?
You say today is. . .Saturday?
G'bye, I'm going out to play!"
I feel like Little Peggy Ann McKay only I don't feel like going out to play.
I started out with a sore throat. Then came the cough. Nice. Keep in mind I am still wearing the boot. The cough and sore throat got worse so I went to my new doctor who told me it was most likely something viral and I was going to have to just let it run its course. I go to work on Sunday and one of the doctors in the ER just writes me a prescription and tells me I have pink eye. Okay, now I feel like QuasiMoto. I have the cough, the sore throat, the boot, and now the nasty pink eye. My husband won't come near me for fear he would catch just ONE of my ills. Jeesh. I feel like climbing to the top of the bell tower and screaming "SANCTUARY!!"
Today I woke up feeling a bit better. My eye looks lots better and the cough seems to be weakening. I am resting, cleaning house a bit, and hanging out with Elijah. It's a rainy day here.. a good day for doing nothing much at all.