I am so thankful to be back home.. Which is ironic because I really want to sell this house and find a new home. We have lived here longer than any house and I really wanted to live here forever, but it's just too big and we need something more manageable. It makes me sad though. Elijah loves this house. It's where we brought him home from both of his transplants. It's the first house we bought.. But I know that's not what makes it home.. It's what we have in it - not stuff, but love and family - that makes it home. We can get that anywhere, right? I sold my dining room set today. We are really trying to downsize and eliminate 'stuff'. It kinda made me sad too.. All the birthday cakes we have shared on that table.. family dinners.. I have no idea why I am getting so sentimental. I have never really liked that dining room set anyway.. It was very country looking.. I am not country.
Near iPhone Death Experience.
It frightens me how addicted to this lovely little gadget I am. I nearly had a panic attack today when I thought it had died. Granted, I am in Philadelphia with Elijah - and without my husband - so being here without my phone would have been a challenge. But I was really most upset over the fact that my precious iPhone was presumed dead! I just knew that it was going to be because of something I had done and it wouldn't get replaced with another iPhone. How would I facebook when I am not supposed to? How would I discreetly check my email (or not so discreetly at times)?? My pictures!! What would happen to the pictures I had taken on my phone? Thankfully, I looked up some information on the internet and determined that I could restore my phone.. so with Britt's blessing I restored my phone to it's original settings and all was right with my world once again. I don't know what I find more frightening.. the thought of not having it.. or how attached I am to it. It's all good now. whew. crisis over.
We are in Philadelphia right now. Elijah has an appointment Tuesday and Wednesday. I am really torn about what we should do for him now. On one hand the ABT has the potential to keep the disease away. On the other hand, it made him sick as hell. I don't want him to be sick, but even moreso, I don't want the cancer to come back. I am so torn. I shouldn't even stress. Dr. Maris may take the decision out of our hands anyway.
For now.. He is doing wonderfully. He is feeling better every day. He is loving school and he seems happier these days. All that matters is today, right?
Ovaries and Recycling
So much going on lately, as usual. With the Earth Day celebrations being this week, Elijah has been learning much about the environment and little things we can do to do our part. We purchased reusable tote bags at the store and have been using those. He requested that I pack his sandwich in a reusable plastic container instead of using sandwich bags. This evening we went to Target and we bought cloth napkins instead of using paper towels all the time. I almost didn't get the napkins because they were $8.00 for a pack of four. Elijah said "Mom, I want to move to California when I grow up so I can be a Marine Biologist. If the air isn't any good in California, I won't be able to do that. Just buy the napkins". So I did..
I am about to share some personal and private information. Oh well. Our lives have very much been open books for the last 4 years with Elijah, so I might as well share my stuff too. I went to the Dr. on Tuesday. It would appear that I have a mass in/on my right ovary. The doctor said from the ultrasound it looks like it could either be a blood clot or a tumor. Either way, the ovary and my uterus have to go. I am having a partial hysterectomy in May. If possible they are going to leave me with one ovary so I can still produce my own hormones. It's not like I was using the other parts anyway - so I am not so bothered by losing them. Just incredibly bothered by not knowing what it is at this point. The good news is they did do a ca125 - which is a blood test that looks for a tumor marker that is present in ovarian cancer. It came back perfect. This doesn't mean for sure that the mass ins't malignant - it just means that it's probably not advance stage ovarian cancer. I am praying that it's just a blood clot and they will remove it - my pain will go away, my hormones will level out, and all will be right with the world in 6 short weeks of recovery time. The sun will shine brighter, my skin will clear up, my hair will be gorgeous again - and I will stop raging on my poor husband. I forgot - after the hysto, I should lose about 40 pounds without effort, right? I am trying to see the rainbow at the other end of the robotic arm laproscopic surgery. Hannah said she was certain it wasn't cancer. She said God never gives us more than we can handle and she thinks this family has had more than it's fair share of cancer. Amen to that.
Good Day
Today was a good day. I worked, and it wasn't so bad. I left a bit early. Elijah was asked to be an honorary co-captain at the Arkansas Twisters Game tonight! He was invited on the field for the coin toss! It was awesome, but a bit overwhelming for him. He has never had to stand in front of so many people before and he does get a bit of stage fright.. All in all it went great. We watched the game with Britt's parents and really had fun. At least I did.. I think Elijah did too. Poor Britt. It was his birthday and we really didn't get to do much to celebrate him. I guess we will have a belated birthday celebration next week. He has to get his german chocolate cake from Silvek's - our favorite European Bakery. It is the best, really.
Tonight at the game we were able to sit and visit for a few minutes with some of our friends from the old neighborhood. It really makes us miss that part of town. We First we must begin the process of starting repairs on our house so we can list it to sell. It's going to take quite a bit to get it marketable. We will be looking in to creative ways of getting some of the materials and resources we need. A bit of wood flooring for the upstairs hall, kitchen hard wood floor repair, painting the kitchen, some tile work, landscaping.. blech. It's going to be a daunting task, but one that I think will pay off for us in the long wrong. Get us back to the neighborhood we love - near friends - and in a smaller more manageable, affordable and efficient home. OH.. and did I mention in the best school district in Little Rock???
I am tired and have to work tomorrow so I will end this rant. I need to post on the Arkansas Twisters and why I think more families need to come out and support them. Maybe in a few days.
More Travel
Tomorrow we fly off to Philadelphia. Elijah will have a scan on Wednesday and we meet with Dr. Maris. I am praying for some answers. I am praying for a day off. We aren't doing much this trip. We all need some rest. I am going to read and do school work. Elijah is going to play with Bennie. We are going to make this as much of a restful trip as possible because it's what we all need.
We really need a vacation.