Ramblings of a crazy sleep deprived Mom

I am growing increasingly irritated with other people right now. Not over anything different they are doing or anything negative they have done to me. Just in general. I feel as if my "filter" needs to be changed or it's going to completely stop working. There was a girl working up here on the floor last night. I've never seen her before. She looks to be probably in her 40's - maybe late 40's. Way too much fake tanner and way too much fun with a bump-it. It was almost to the point of comical. How terrible is it of me that I wanted to say something to her??? I wanted to tell her that trying to look like a 20 year old was not attractive. It was terrible.
I came in contact with a woman this week that I think is probably one of the biggest snobs I have ever met. Now.. I am far from wealthy.. I am just a step away from a mobile home park sometimes... but I run in some circles through charity work and other things that put me in the company of some very affluent people. I have a couple of friends that live in houses most of us only dream of. These people are some of the least snobby people in the world. This girl.. ugh.. I really just wanted to look at her and tell her "I think you are an unbelievable snob" but I fear she would take that as a compliment! It's not, my friend. You don't seem to exhibit qualities that I would ever want to have. You are not envied - not by me anyway.
My filter grows weaker and weaker as I get older.
I am turning 40 next month. Part of me wishes I could have a big party.. part of me wishes just a few friends could get together and go to dinner. I don't know. I wish I wasn't fat for my 40th.. but I wish I wasn't fat for anything! ha ha.
Cancer complicates everything in our lives. It's impossible to work or schedule anything. We've been in the hospital for 5 days now. We should be at home so Elijah can enjoy our Christmas tree. He should be in school getting ready for Christmas break with his friends. He shouldn't be worrying if he will be in the hospital for Christmas. I haven't done hardly any Christmas shopping. I could leave in the evening when Britt gets here and go do some of it, but I just really don't like leaving the hospital much. I left for a few hours the other night.. and really enjoyed myself, but when I came back I felt as though I had been gone for too long. I will leave for a bit today and go to work - but just for a bit. We have had friends offer to do Christmas shopping for us, but I wouldn't know what to tell them to get.
I think I might get my realtors license next year. Just to have it. Who knows, I might be able to do something with it. I am sure there are a million realtors in Little Rock struggling to make ends meet - why I would want to do that is crazy. Knowing me, I will probably change my mind in the next week or so.