Finally a blog entry...

I sat the other day at work and typed an email to myself to post as a blog entry. (I can't access blogspot at work) The events of the past couple of days made me decide to scrap that entry and just type a new one.
I am mad. Elijah's scans came back showing that he still has some disease left.. As a matter of fact, it's new disease that is showing up. I hate Neuroblastoma. We are going to go to Philadelphia to see if there is a better treatment option for him. I hate that he is going to have to go through more harsh treatment - but we really want this crap gone!!! He is taking it all in stride - which is good. We tried to put it to him very lightly and point out the bright side - which is we are going to get to go to Philadelphia! I have to admit, that is pretty cool.
I had my crying fit - then that was over. Today is my mad day, I guess. Hopefully tomorrow I will go into "fight" mode. I have started to try to gather information on Philadelphia so hopefully we will be able to do some fun things while we are there. So much is still unknown to us. We have NO idea when we will be able to go. That part is all in the hands of our doctor and the team up there - when they can get all this coordinated with insurance and get us an appointment. Not knowing is really frustrating to me. We want to go as soon as possible and begin treatment. (Okay, I feel the fight mode coming on).
School.. I have registered for school. I am taking four classes this fall at the local community college. I thought about cancelling it, but then I decided I needed to do this for myself. I did have to change my schedule a bit though. All my classes are online. I am excited about being back in school..
Okay.. I am NOT wonderwoman. I am NOT supermom. I am NOT the worlds best wife and homemaker.. and I am about to be spread even thinner.. My job at the hospital has just gone from 2 days to 3, but will make me full time instead of just part time.. I am now a full time student, Elijah is getting ready to start school and I will be teaching him, not to mention the fact that we are gearing up for another full time cancer battle. What the hell am I going to do?? I HAVE to get my shit together and get organized or not enough xanax in the world will be enough to keep me sane. I am feeling a bit overwhelmed and just need to learn what the plan will be for his treatment so we can work everything else around all of that. I think I have frightend myself and must go have a glass of wine.