Prayer

I had an email from a friend of mine not long ago. I was having a few dark days - which are not out of the norm for me. I was very worried about Elijah and in the midst of a full on pity party - streamers and all. I have a few friends that are always a comfort, but one that really makes me stop and think about things and put things back in God's hands where they belong. She said something to me that I just can't put out of my head. She talked about times when she would doubt and have dark days like mine.. She said she got down on her face and prayed. Not on her knees - not sitting in her car or trying to find a quiet spot like I do.. but full on, down on the floor face down.. and prayed. Wow. This blows me away. Such total submission to God and his will. I have thought about it and thought about it.. I can't get it out of my head. I want to be able to give it all over to Him. I want to be able to have all this worry and burden lifted from my shoulders. I need to get down on my face and pray for Him to fill the void inside my heart and soul. The void left by the loss of my Mom. The void of not having a father. The void and guilt from being away from Hannah so much. The pain of watching Elijah go through what he does and feeling inadequate to make it better. The guilt of the things I have done and said to my husband over the past ten years out of fear, anger, and frustration. The guilt of projects and promises that I have not followed through with. I am tired of filling this emptiness with the wrong things. (no, I don't do drugs and I am not an alcholic). It's time to be filled with Life. With God. With forgiveness and moving on. It's time to get down on my face and pray...