Britt and I both went to the gym this morning.. YAY US! We had to tag team since Elijah is home. Britt went first and when he got home, I went for my turn. We are doing the circuit training program at Powerhouse. The workout takes about 30 minutes. You do a machine, then do 30 seconds of cardio (stepping on the low step for us beginners!!). You do the cardio between each machine. It's an amazing program. They have pictures up all over the circuit training room of people who have done the program - it shows their before and after and has written on the picture how much weight they lost.. It's very inspirational. I will hurt tomorrow. My arms already feel wobbly! I didn't do the leg press because my ortho doc said that's not great for my knees. My PT had me do that, but on a low weight and with partially deflated rubber ball between my knees.. Other than that, I did everything else. My goal is to do the circuit training at least three times per week then do cardio (treadmill) for 30 minutes twice a week. We shall see. That is my goal to start out though. Britt and I will start going in the morning on Monday when Hannah is here to stay with Elijah. We ate well this morning and will eat sensibly for lunch. We are going to a crawfish boil this afternoon, so I don't know how good our eating will be there!!!
Prayers for today: health for my kids - not too much pain from my first work out in ages - and a restful weekend
Am I Buff Yet???
Card Carrying
We are now official members of Powerhouse Gym!!! woo hoo!!! This has been such a long week. I am ready to start feeling better and start looking better too. I am anxious to get in to the gym, but dreading it all in the same breath. I know this is going to require hard work on my part - I just have to stick to it and it will be so worth it. Britt seems excited too. I was thinking to myself that next year when I have to buy my Easter outfit, I won't have to shop in the "big girl" section.. YAY! Won't that be a treat? So much riding on my doing what I need to do. My skin improving, my hair not being so oily all the time, my knees (which feel like they are about to explode right now) - not to mention my moods. I can do this.
Prayers for today: health for my kids, a good night's sleep, and a relaxing weekend.
Do they make rehab for Diet Coke?
So I have made a sort of mini resolution in effort to improve my outlook on life and my job. I have decided to make a bigger effort to dress more professionally at work, maintain a more professional attitude at work, and try to improve the appearance of my workspace to make it a more pleasing environment to be in. Now, I share this office with a co-worker, so I can't just go all out - and I don't want to spend any money for improvements either. I found a lovely piece of office wall art and had maintenance come hang it for me yesterday. That alone has made it more pleasant and less stark. The building that I work in was once an inpatient mental facility. (go ahead, laugh) and the patient rooms are what we are using as office space. It's odd, but it works okay. I think if I had a rug on the floor, it would seem even less "institutional". So far this week I am doing pretty good on my little mini resolution. I have dressed professionally every day (even accessorized!!!), my office is looking nicer, and my attitude towards my working environment is improving ever so slightly. Baby steps, right?
I decided to take a similar approach to some of my bad eating habits. I am a full fledged diet coke addict. I love the stuff. I swear I start to jones for it if I haven't had it for a while. I need to kick this awful habit!!! I thought - I will just not drink them at all anymore. That doesn't work!! My mind stays preoccupied with my lack of Diet Coke!!!! What the heck? So.. I have decided that I will allow myself one a day - for now. I think giving myself permission to have that much will make it less of an issue - and maybe I won't even want it at all some days! ha! I had a healthy breakfast burrito this morning. I think that will be my new morning staple for breakfast. Whole wheat tortilla, 1 egg/1egg white, low sodium natural salsa (good find,Britt!), and I will add black beans tomorrow. It's quite tasty and seems to keep me satisfied until lunch time. It's the afternoons that get me!! I get the munchies around 2:30. I need some popsmart and some fruit. I think that might get me through.
I think the gym membership is going to happen tomorrow.. yee haw!!! Britt and I are ready to get going. I was so sore last night for some reason. my legs just ached and I haven't done anything. I think it's just from being overweight! Isn't that sad? I watched this show called "Work Out" - reality show with these trainers - and the boss was handing out new clients to the trainers. She had files with pictures and bios on all these people and she was assigning them to folks. She had a couple of gals that were my height and my weight (over 200lbs) and it was awful!!!!!! I can't believe I am that big. I never in my whole life thought I would be this big. when I was a teenager, I was so thin that my family used to worry about me. UGH. This is terrible. My knees hurt constantly and I know it's from carrying my big ole self! I am so tired of it.. but I have said that before, and I still eat and sit on my couch watching tv.
I still need a treadmill at my house.
When to start
Sleep
Friday - Finally
It seems like this has been a brutal week for us and for so many of our friends and family too! TGIF! It's crazy that out of so much chaos, comes so much light and goodness. Elijah's scans are clean and I have more of a sense of peace about that than I have in a long time. Britt's mom's surgery went well and she is at home resting, we have a little friend in the hospital who has turned a corner and is doing much better now - hopefully Susan and Chasen will see some sort of great Blessing come out of their recent robbery (I know that sounds crazy, but it will come to pass!). I just wanted to stay in bed all day today!! I am just worn out from so much stress this week! Instead I got up and got to work a bit earlier than I normally do. Part of my newfound attempt to be more professional at work. That's what I am working on now - attendance and appearance. I need to take a more professional approach to my job than what I do. I think I have fallen victim to the "state employee mentality" and I don't like it much. I feel like a slacker! I even put makeup on today!! WHAT?? Crazy, I know.. Next thing you know I will be fixing my hair and wearing pantyhose!! I plan to wash my sheets so they are nice and crisp, and clean our bedroom so that way I can lay in my bed in comfort in the morning.. maybe light a candle so it smells extra nice. Elijah has a soccer game at 1pm so we should be able to sleep in a bit tomorrow.
Prayers for today: Health for my kiddos, focus at work and in class, quiet time with Britt - and to win a contest that will give me maid service for a year.. ha ha ha
Sometimes it's just the small things...
Let Go and Let God
It is such a gorgeous day today . Britt's mom is about 2 hours in to her surgery. So far things are going well. Once again I sat in my car and prayed this morning. I am praying that this gorgeous day is a sign from God that the sun will be shining in our lives very soon. I think it is. I have tried to take all of these trials our family is dealing with this week and give them up to God - just let him deal with it so I don't have to! Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't. I think after my morning prayer, I am more at peace with everything. I know in my heart that Elijah is fine, but I also know that this worry will be in the back of our minds for a very long time so the slightest thing causes the worry to come to the front. So much to deal with all at once!! I know that He is in control, not me. There isn't anything going on in our lives right now that we can control. We just have to enjoy every single day that we do have.
Promises, Promises
I promise that I am not always a "negative nancy". Truth be told, this week is just kicking me in the ass.
Britt's mom went in to the hospital unexpectedly yesterday. Turns out she will be having double bypass surgery tomorrow morning at 8:30. They tried to do balloon angioplasty, but the blockage was nearly 100% in one area. Needless to say, we are worried. Britt's dad is a mess. Britt is doing okay, but is stressed and can't stand to see his Dad so shaken up.
Elijah had allergy testing done yesterday. He is allergic to grass, trees, ragweed, and mold. Nice, huh? He will start allergy shots in a couple of weeks.
On a positive note, I made a 98 on my second psychology exam!!!! yeee haww! Hannah said "Mom, how'd you get to be so smart?".. HA!
Another Long Day
Today has been long. It started out okay, turned bad, went from bad to worse, then slowly got better. First, we were late. 2nd, my old boss called me to tell me he was leaving the state to take a job in Florida..I got to work only to find that our network was down - again.. and I tend to get upset when it comes to Elijah and the possibility of relapse. He had some lab work come back that was a bit out of normal range and sent me in to a frenzy. His oncologist isn't too worried about it, but let us move his scans up just to rule anything out and put our fears to rest. I had to come home from work today to "collect myself" because I sort of had a mini melt down at the office. Thankfully the escalation of the mini melt was in my car and not my office. I came home, talked to some friends at the hospital, got some reassurance, dried my eyes and went back to work. Then the network came back on. I went to my class and received a bit of praise from my instructor on my thesis statement for my next paper. Praise is always nice. I sat in my car for a bit before I started home and said a few prayers. I have to come to peace with the knowledge that even though we don't want this cancer to come back EVER, if it does, we will just fight it like we did before. There isn't anything we can do to prevent it, we just need to enjoy what we have and LIVE every day.
prayers for today: clean scans next week, peace for Britt and I in the mean time, health for my kids, and maybe some TEQUILA!!!
peace
I don't like daylight savings
Why is it that the night before daylight savings has to be the worst night of sleep in the history of the world? I had way too many things on my mind to even think about getting a nice restful nights sleep before waking up in the dark today. I have a test in psychology that I didn't study for as much as I needed to. Hannah came home in a funk and wants to go live with her dad. Elijah had a night terror about an hour after he went to bed and we couldn't get him calmed down for about 20 minutes. Then he was in our bed - which for anyone who reads this who has never had to share a queen size bed with a 55 pound 6 year old boy - IT'S NOT A GOOD SLEEPING ARRANGEMENT. I finally went in his room and got in his bed. I am so tired. Stressed out about Hannah and exhausted for this test today. I really want to go home and crawl back in to bed.
Tired...
Today has been a good day. We went to Church this morning and to the park. After that we just did things around the house. I actually made some spaghetti sauce and put it up for later this week. Britt made round steak for supper, which was really good. I need to study. I have a test tomorrow in psychology that I needed to be studying for all weekend, but haven't. I think I may do the ever dreaded - make a pot of coffee at 9pm and study for a few hours - thing. My instructor tells us not to cram. He says it's not a good study practice. Oh well. What's a gal to do? I think I cram for a lot of things where the outcome would be better if I did it a bit at a time instead.
Tomorrow I am going to try to get in at least 30 minutes of exercise. I think that's better than nothing - even if it's not a full hour. I am doing pretty good with my eating - even though I am having mad cravings. I wanted a candy bar tonight so bad. I settled for a granola bar instead. Not sure how long that will hold!! ha!
My personal improvement goal for next week is to try to do something with my hair every day other than pull it back in a little nub pony tail.
Prayers for this evening: continued health for my kids, a restful nights sleep, and for chocolate cravings to disappear!!
Peace
Soccer Mom
I did okay with my eating yesterday, sort of. I snuck a few bites of Hannah's milk shake and I ate onion rings.. At least I ate a grilled chicken wrap with light dressing instead of the fried chicken sandwich or BLT on the greasy bread I normally would have eaten though. HA! Susan, thanks for the ideas on some exercise options. You know you are my fitness inspiration! I really wish there was a manual on "how to be a morning person". I think it would solve all of my woes. Britt and I are just NOT. I think he could be a morning person with a little bit of reconditioning though. He has more willpower than I do, without question. I have been such an awful influence on him. When we met, he didn't drink sodas, didn't eat bad food, and he worked out all the time. Yesterday he shared the onion rings with me and complains about working out as much as I do.
Prayers for today: always continued health for my children, appetite control, motivation to get my work done at the office, and quiet time with Britt.
Peace
Bread of Life
Britt and I bought some new bread the other day. I saw it on Oprah's website. Before you judge, I didn't run out and buy this bread because it's what Oprah eats. I bought it because I am a full on "bread addict" and I really think that all the bread and pasta that I consume has added to my current predicament. The bread is Ezekial 4:9 bread. In the Bible it says "But as for you, take wheat, barley, beans, lentils, millet and spelt, put them in one vessel and make them into bread for yourself". That's how this bread is made! It doesn't have any flour and is an approved food for diabetics. Hmmm.. I tried it this morning for the first time and it was pretty good. I liked it anyway. I am starting today to eat better. I am going to avoid sugar and tons of carbs if at all possible.
The kids both have practice tonight. At the same time - on opposite ends of the world, it seems. It's hard when you want to be more than one place all the time. I have a paper due tonight too. The paper itself is done, but I have to type up all the other junk that I have to turn in with it.
Britt and I started a class at St. James last night. (Hannah too) I really liked it. I think it's going to be good to be involved in Church again.
I am looking for creative ideas on how to get my one hour of exercise a day in. I am in class on Monday, Wednesday and Friday so i can't do it during lunch regularly. We have things scheduled every night but Mondays at this point, so I don't know how evenings would work. I sooooo wish I was a morning person!!!!
Prayers for today: appetite control, continued health for my kiddos, financial peace, and to be able to accomplish all that's on "the list" for today.
Peace
A New Day
I went to the doctor yesterday. He says that I have insulin resistance which is why I am tired all the time and have gained so much weight. So how do you take care of insulin resistance? You lose weight. How ironic is that? I have to try and lose the weight on my own and see how that goes for a couple of months. If I am not having any sucess, he wants me to see the endocrinologist. He is of the belief that I have Polycystic Ovarian Disease. I have been told I have it - then told I don't have it - then told I have it - then told I don't have it and now told that I have it. This has been going on for 5 years. I think now I will just go with the assumption that I have it and try to fix it. It explains too many of the symptoms I have. The weight, acne, headaches, depression, excess hair growth on my face, and constant fatigue. Now that I have the labs to back it up and the knowledge that I can fix this with diet and exercise, I need to do something! I am staring right in the face of heart disease and diabetes if I don't do this. He said to exercise one hour every day. OUCH. I have friends who do way more than that and do it just fine. Can I? How? When? I need a treadmill!
Prayers for today: Continued health for my children, financial peace, quiet time with Britt, & A TREADMILL!!
peace
Sleepy
I can't believe how sleepy I am today. I decided to try something new today. I sat in my car for a few minutes before I came in to the office. I tried to quiet myself and then said a prayer. I was so relaxed, that I nearly fell asleep! I think that's awful! I wonder what God would think if I fell asleep in the middle of my morning conversation with him?? I am going to have to go get a cup of coffee just to try and stay awake today! This week looks to be busy. More appointments as usual. I am hoping that some of this will quiet down soon and we won't be so bombarded with apppointments all the time. It's still not nearly as bad as it was when Elijah was in treatment. We need to get healthy though. Joe brought a bike for us the other day. It was my sisters but she doesn't ride it anymore. Britt was excited. It's a mens mountain bike. I wanted the bike, but didn't realize it was a mens bike. Oh well. Beggers can't be choosers, right? I am trying to control my appetite. I do a good job while I am at work - then I go home and binge. Not really binge, just kind of mini binge, really. :) Elijah starts soccer this week. He is sooo excited! We are excited for him too. I hope he just loves it.
My prayers for today are for health and healing, for me to control my eating, and for us to come up with a way to get us closer to financial peace.